June 7th, 2010
 Karl and Carl’s road to becoming parents was a roller coaster experience. They booked their first donor in late 2008 and it took a full year and a half, and three donors by the time everything was said and done, for their twin boys to make their debut. Throughout it all they remained positive, flexible and committed to making their dreams of parenthood a reality. A big CONGRATULATIONS from everybody here at BHED!
Tags: assisted reproduction, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation, egg donor, egg donors, IVF, ivf cycle
Posted in BHED Success Stories | 1 Comment »
June 3rd, 2010
Becoming an egg donor was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made. From the moment I learned about egg donation, I was convinced that it was something that I wanted to do. Unfortunately, it was because of an awful experience that I discovered egg donation, but I’ve learned that often good things can come of tragedy. I had an abortion in May of 2009, and afterwards I started researching the possibility of being a surrogate mother to an individual or couple. It was then that I discovered egg donation and immediately committed to the idea. I didn’t even know it was a possibility until I stumbled across it in my research.
 When I got pregnant, I was on birth control (Nuva Ring). The shock of the pregnancy was nothing compared to the horror of realizing that the man I was with at the time was not a very nice person. In the same week that I learned of my pregnancy, I learned that he was doing drugs when I was not around, and when I told him the news he became violent and angry. I ended the relationship and went home to live with my mother. When I made the decision to have an abortion I think I must have cried for two weeks, but I believe I made the best decision that I could have at the time. It is because of that horrible experience that I am so excited to donate to another individual or couple.
I’m now engaged to a wonderful guy, and I know that there will be a time when I welcome a pregnancy (even an unexpected one). I am so happy that I will be able to have a family with him someday, and it is important to me to be able to give that same chance to someone who is ready. Anyone going to such great lengths to start a family truly deserves to have that, and if I can help that happen I would be honored. In a small way I feel like I am giving back what I took away, even though I know that I can never undo or nullify the abortion. My primary motivation, however, is to help someone bring a child into the world. The whole process of egg donation and IVF is an extension of the miracle of creating life and I am grateful and happy to be able to lend myself to such an amazing purpose.
- BHED donor, Maggie #8228
Tags: assisted reproductio, become a donor, become an egg donor, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, donate my eggs, egg donation, egg donor, IVF, Los Angeles egg donation, Southern California egg donor
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May 28th, 2010
 Become an egg donor. Such a small phrase for such a large responsibility. For most people, the prospect of egg donation offers one thing: money!
“Oh, the things I can buy!” she thinks, “and definitely getting those hair extensions I’ve been eyeing for the summer.”
Now, please don’t assume I’m one of those cynical types that are against hair extensions or, for that matter, anything girly or high maintenance, I’ve just already got them. *Wink*
No, to me, becoming an egg donor would fulfill one of the largest goals of my life, and something that I’ve already begun to bring to fruition. It is my life aspiration to create a piece of software that provides cost effective pricing and constant algorithmic calculations to maximize profitability in restaurants, then roll out the production of the software with my very own restaurant. When I close my eyes and imagine this day, I am a hero! I’ve essentially altered the course of food service forever! People love me! And I, of course, am free to do as I please, probably selling the rights to my software to some large conglomerate and sitting back and running my restaurant (not without my constant residuals, though!).
Yet, take a look at present day me. Sure I’ve got a great job. Sure I could make a profitable career for myself offering consulting services with a focus specifically on real estate portfolios…
I bet you have no idea what I’m talking about. Exactly.
In the current economic climate, my entrepreneurial goals are stifled by a “not now” society that fears new ideas and lives trapped in its laissez faire attitude. ”But hey, we’re not making it worse right?” society thinks. Wrong.
Enough of my critique. My point is that I was drawn to become an egg donor when I realized how immediate the potential was to actually pursue my goals. This is not something I need, nor is it something I’m relying on, but it is something that can greatly speed up the process for me, and something I would be genuinely appreciative of should I be chosen to be a part of it.
Now, there is the altruistic perspective of egg donation. At its most stripped down core, an egg donor is providing others with opportunities that previously did not exist to them. The intrinsic motivation is therefore preset and a major factor in my decision to become an egg donor. I have complete faith in BHED to find those who I am properly suited to donate for and now, my question to you, prospective parents, is what are you waiting for?!
- Camber, BHED donor #7132
Tags: become an egg donor, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation, egg donation agency, egg donation southern california, egg donor, egg donor agency, egg donors, Southern California egg donors
Posted in From the egg donor's perspective | 1 Comment »
May 26th, 2010
Below is our final topic in Brenda Fahn-Hardt’s series of discussions for Intended Parents. Thank you, Brenda, for all of your contributions over the past few weeks!
Will I Feel Bonded to My Child?
One fear that intended parents sometimes bring up is that they may not feel as connected or bonded to their child because they used an egg donor. I don’t think I have encountered any cases that substantiate this fear, but of course it is a valid concern. I tell intended parents that they may be more prepared to handle their child than parents who have biological children. Biological parents many times assume that they will understand their  child, yet each child is unique and may or many not resemble their biological parents either. The key to parenting is to be attuned to who your child is. When you enter the world of parenthood, it is a daily challenge to let go of who you think your child “should” be and accept them for who they are. A daily lesson as a parent is to listen and accept your child for who he/she is. If you can do that there is no doubt that you will feel connected to your child.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: assisted reproduction, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, Brenda Fahn-Hardt, egg donation, egg donation southern california, egg donor, egg donor agency, egg donor psychologist, egg donors, intended parent, intended parents psychological issues, IVF, ivf cycle, resources for intended parents, Southern California egg donor, Southern California egg donor agency
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May 20th, 2010
In the latest installment of our five-part series for Intended Parents, Brenda shares her advice for how/when to share with a child that they were conceived with the help of an egg donor.
Do We Tell Our Child They Were Conceived Through Egg Donation?
 All intended parents are confronted with the decision as to whether they should tell their child (and others) that they used a third-party to conceive their child. Parents usually come to a decision based on their own comfort level and feelings regarding using an egg donor or surrogate. Most experts agree that honesty is the best policy when it comes to informing your child. A good website that goes into more detail about how to talk to your children developmentally appropriate ways is www.donor-conception-network.org. The website has booklets entitled, “Telling and Talking”. These booklets offer informative advice on how to talk to your child at every stage. Before telling your child you want to assess 1) The child’s emotional and intellectual capacity to process the information and 2) The extent to which your family, culture or religion may be able to accept a child born through egg donation.
The decision to tell your child may be an easy one or one fraught with decision. Most experts agree that telling your child is the easier path to take. It is easier because there is no room for misconceptions or false information, which inevitably leads to feelings of betrayal or mistrust. It is also recommended to start giving some information at a relatively early age, from three to five years old. Again, the website mentioned above goes into thorough detail advising how to talk to children of all ages regarding their conception.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: assisted reproduction, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation, egg donation agency, egg donor, egg donors, how to tell a child they were conceived with an egg donor, IVF, Southern California assisted reproduction
Posted in Advice From Our Colleagues | 1 Comment »
May 17th, 2010
Part 3 in Brenda Fahn-Hardt’s informal discussion for Intended Parents.
Meeting the Donor? There is No Right Choice.
At some point during the egg donor process most parents consider whether or not they should meet their egg donor. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Each case is different and depends on the intentions and expectations of the intended parents. If their expectations seem reasonable and realistic, then meeting the egg donor can turn into a very positive experience. Most of the time intended parents want to be able to meet their donor so that they have the option of telling their child at a later date. Statistically, only about 20% of intended parents choose to meet their donor. If you intend to tell your child that they were conceived with an egg donor and you want to tell your child something about the donor, then meeting would likely be a positive experience. Many times parents to not have an interest in, or feel comfortable, meeting their donor, which of course should always be respected. Each situation is different.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation, egg donation agencies, egg donation agency, egg donation california, egg donation los angeles, egg donation process, egg donor, egg donor agencies, egg donor agency, egg donor blog, egg donor cycle, egg donor los angeles, egg donors, how to choose an egg donor, intended parent, IVF, ivf cycle, resources for intended parents, should I meet my egg donor
Posted in Advice From Our Colleagues | 3 Comments »
May 13th, 2010
Part two in our series of discussions on psychological issues for Intended Parents.
Choosing a Donor
 Once intended parents have made the decision to use an egg donor, anxiety can arise surrounding the donor choice. Every intended parent usually approaches the issue with ‘preconceived’ criteria for choosing their ‘perfect’ candidate – beyond the standard medical screening that is done, scholastics, personality, and appearance are usually at the top of their list. I empathize with individuals and couples as to how difficult it is to make such a big decision. It is important to remember that there is no rush in choosing a donor. It takes time to find the right match. Whatever the intended parents are looking for, I encourage them to get as much information as possible from their egg donation agency regarding their donor, while also trying not to ‘over-control’ the situation. Once one feels they have made the best decision, according to the information they have, then the challenge can be trying letting go. There are no guarantees in life, all of us who are parents usually begrudgingly learn that a lot more of life is out of our control than we would like. Parenting is about being able to handle all the imperfections that come with a child, whether you have your child through an egg donor or not. When couples do have difficulty containing their anxiety during this process therapy can help.
As the ’screening’ psychotherapist, my process is analytical and involves assessing the donor for her maturity and ability to follow through with the process, as well as the presence of any major psycho-pathology (i.e. personality or mood disorders). An interview and psychological test are used to check for either of the two preceding elements.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation agency, egg donation los angeles, egg donor, egg donor cycle, egg donor database, egg donor los angeles, egg donors, fertility clinic, how to choose an egg donor, ivf cycle, Oocyte Donation, Ova donation, Southern California egg donation agency, Southern California egg donor, Southern California egg donors
Posted in Advice From Our Colleagues | 1 Comment »
May 11th, 2010
 The following is the first in a series of postings from Beverly Hills Egg Donation staff psychotherapist, Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT. Brenda comes to us with years of experience working exclusively with donors and couples dealing with infertility issues. In this, and in posts to come, she will address some of the most common psychological and emotional issues that come up in her work with Intended Parents.
Intended parents usually come to infertility services after spending years on an emotional roller-coaster. There are several emotional and psychological issues that intended parents typically encounter during this process. The ones that I encounter most in my practice are 1) Dealing with the grief of not being able to conceive your own biological child 2) The anxiety associated with choosing a donor 3) Deciding whether to meet the donor during the process 4) Fears of not being bonded or connected to your child and 4) Deciding if, when and how to reveal to your child that an egg donor was used in their conception.
Grieving
The journey to the infertility option can be arduous for most couples. The realization that you are unable to conceive without the assistance of a third party can be internalized in numerous ways – the most common emotions are feelings of failure, inadequacy, humility and anger. When couples arrive at an infertility office, frequently they have not dealt with the trauma and pain that usually exists. I always encourage couples to experience their unresolved grief before getting too far down the road in the process. However, in many instances, because couples have been waiting years to conceive a child, they often feel compelled to jump into the next stage without processing their feelings. It is common for couples to get caught up in the frenzy of doctor’s offices, tests, shots and drugs while neglecting to take a step back and let oneself absorb and process the grief.
 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote the classic treatise on dealing with grief. In her seminal work, she identifies the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In a perfect world, an individual would experience these stages sequentially. Yet, each of us approaches life’s complications in our own way. The process becomes inherently more complicated when dealing with two individuals simultaneously, given the complicated dynamics of relationships in general. It takes an enormous amount of patience and understanding to respect and understand your partner’s process. Therefor I encourage couples to attend support groups and couple’s therapy to assist them through the grieving process.
The goal in the last stage of the grief process is acceptance. Acceptance can take on different outcomes for different couples (or single parents). The one constant is the reality that one is unable to conceive his/her own biological child. When one comes to this acceptance, there are different paths from which to choose – using an egg donor and/or surrogate, adopting a child or choosing not to have a child. Whichever path is chosen, you want to be confident about your decision and optimistic about your future.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Tags: Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation, egg donation california, egg donation southern california, egg donor, egg donors, fertility clinic, fertility doctor, infertile, infertility, intended parent, IVF, ivf cycle, Reproductive Endocrinologists
Posted in Advice From Our Colleagues | 1 Comment »
April 14th, 2010
Last year, we posted this happy news from recent recipients, Valerie and Adam:
I went to FPNC today at 9:00AM for the first ultrasound, and Dr. Abusief showed me on the TV screen that there are two babies growing, each with a nice heartbeat and a “diamond ring” which means something like the cells are growing very well. When she started, she immediately said that she could see “two sacks,” but I had no idea what that meant. Then, she spent five minutes showing me the heartbeat in one of the sacks but wasn’t able to find the heartbeat in the other. This was a touch five minutes, with her saying things like, “this is normal…sometimes it just takes some time for the other one to start growing…” Then, Dr. Abusief finally was able to see the other heartbeat, and we all saw it really clearly. It had been over at one side. Dr. Abusief was very happy with everything she saw and said that the risk now of a “problem” is down to 15%. We’ll go back in two weeks for another ultrasound, and will know at that point if Baby A and Baby B are boys, girls, or one of each.
I’ve got a print-out of photos of both Baby A and Baby B.
I am so happy!!! I cried until my makeup ran down my face and I had to get back to work.
Thanks everyone for your help and support, especially to Lisa and Ellie from Beverly Hills Egg Donation for being such great advocates for us.
This has been a long and miserable journey for Adam and me, and hopefully we’ll now have the joy of parenthood.
-Valerie
Well, we are SO pleased to announce that the twins have arrived! Happy, healthy and oh-so-cute, Hermione and Dashiell were born in September….
Congratulations!!!!
Tags: assisted reproduction, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donor, egg donor agency, egg donors, IVF, Lisa Greer, Southern California egg donor agency, Southern California egg donors
Posted in BHED Success Stories | No Comments »
April 6th, 2010
Working with BHED over the past year has been a wonderful, eye-opening experience. I traveled to Houston, Texas for my first donation. The staff at BHED made my travel arrangements and explained everything very thoroughly so that there was no confusion (although, had there been any confusion, I knew I could call or text Ellie day or night and she’d be on it!).
One of my flights back got cancelled due to bad weather. I was freaking out about it because I needed to get back to my baby and I had to work the next day! So what does Ellie do? She arranges another flight for me and a shuttle to get me to my original departure city. It was amazing!
When I first walked in to Houston IVF, the walls were covered with collages of all the beautiful miracle babies that had been born because of donors like me. I nearly burst into tears as I looked them over. How special these children are, and how badly the parents wanted them…it was an amazing thing. It was at that moment that I realized just how important what I was about to give was to the recipient family. I was ecstatic when I found out later that the donation was a success. I was worried that it wouldn’t work out and that the family would be heartbroken. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.
I recovered somewhat slowly from the retrieval. I experienced some pretty nasty cramping and mild hyper-stimulation. It lasted for about two weeks, gradually getting better each day. Not too long after that donation, another family requested me. They were more than happy to give me as much time as I needed to recuperate. I decided that I would donate for them after about 6 months of downtime. Again, BHED took care of every detail and made sure I was happy throughout the entire process.
This particular doctor happened to be different than most in that he wanted to see me for every appointment. During the Houston donation, I did most of the appointments near home and only traveled twice over the course of the process. In this case, I had to travel to Los Angeles quite often. This became very difficult for me and, after I let Ellie know that there was an issue, BHED called the doctor immediately. After that, it was smooth sailing! I went for my retrieval, had an amazing time in Hollywood and felt wonderful after the procedure. No cramping this time!
If it weren’t for the fact that seeing all of these babies being born made me want to have another one myself, I’d still be on the donor list. I can say with all honesty that BHED is the most caring, cooperative and friendly organization to work with. I really can’t say enough positive things about them! I truly appreciate the experience and memories they gave me. Thank you, BHED!
- BHED donor, Micah
Posted in From the egg donor's perspective | No Comments »
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