Posts Tagged ‘Southern California egg donor’
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
Becoming an egg donor was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made. From the moment I learned about egg donation, I was convinced that it was something that I wanted to do. Unfortunately, it was because of an awful experience that I discovered egg donation, but I’ve learned that often good things can come of tragedy. I had an abortion in May of 2009, and afterwards I started researching the possibility of being a surrogate mother to an individual or couple. It was then that I discovered egg donation and immediately committed to the idea. I didn’t even know it was a possibility until I stumbled across it in my research.
 When I got pregnant, I was on birth control (Nuva Ring). The shock of the pregnancy was nothing compared to the horror of realizing that the man I was with at the time was not a very nice person. In the same week that I learned of my pregnancy, I learned that he was doing drugs when I was not around, and when I told him the news he became violent and angry. I ended the relationship and went home to live with my mother. When I made the decision to have an abortion I think I must have cried for two weeks, but I believe I made the best decision that I could have at the time. It is because of that horrible experience that I am so excited to donate to another individual or couple.
I’m now engaged to a wonderful guy, and I know that there will be a time when I welcome a pregnancy (even an unexpected one). I am so happy that I will be able to have a family with him someday, and it is important to me to be able to give that same chance to someone who is ready. Anyone going to such great lengths to start a family truly deserves to have that, and if I can help that happen I would be honored. In a small way I feel like I am giving back what I took away, even though I know that I can never undo or nullify the abortion. My primary motivation, however, is to help someone bring a child into the world. The whole process of egg donation and IVF is an extension of the miracle of creating life and I am grateful and happy to be able to lend myself to such an amazing purpose.
- BHED donor, Maggie #8228
Tags: assisted reproductio, become a donor, become an egg donor, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, donate my eggs, egg donation, egg donor, IVF, Los Angeles egg donation, Southern California egg donor
Posted in From the egg donor's perspective | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010
Below is our final topic in Brenda Fahn-Hardt’s series of discussions for Intended Parents. Thank you, Brenda, for all of your contributions over the past few weeks!
Will I Feel Bonded to My Child?
One fear that intended parents sometimes bring up is that they may not feel as connected or bonded to their child because they used an egg donor. I don’t think I have encountered any cases that substantiate this fear, but of course it is a valid concern. I tell intended parents that they may be more prepared to handle their child than parents who have biological children. Biological parents many times assume that they will understand their  child, yet each child is unique and may or many not resemble their biological parents either. The key to parenting is to be attuned to who your child is. When you enter the world of parenthood, it is a daily challenge to let go of who you think your child “should” be and accept them for who they are. A daily lesson as a parent is to listen and accept your child for who he/she is. If you can do that there is no doubt that you will feel connected to your child.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: assisted reproduction, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, Brenda Fahn-Hardt, egg donation, egg donation southern california, egg donor, egg donor agency, egg donor psychologist, egg donors, intended parent, intended parents psychological issues, IVF, ivf cycle, resources for intended parents, Southern California egg donor, Southern California egg donor agency
Posted in Advice From Our Colleagues | No Comments »
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
Part two in our series of discussions on psychological issues for Intended Parents.
Choosing a Donor
 Once intended parents have made the decision to use an egg donor, anxiety can arise surrounding the donor choice. Every intended parent usually approaches the issue with ‘preconceived’ criteria for choosing their ‘perfect’ candidate – beyond the standard medical screening that is done, scholastics, personality, and appearance are usually at the top of their list. I empathize with individuals and couples as to how difficult it is to make such a big decision. It is important to remember that there is no rush in choosing a donor. It takes time to find the right match. Whatever the intended parents are looking for, I encourage them to get as much information as possible from their egg donation agency regarding their donor, while also trying not to ‘over-control’ the situation. Once one feels they have made the best decision, according to the information they have, then the challenge can be trying letting go. There are no guarantees in life, all of us who are parents usually begrudgingly learn that a lot more of life is out of our control than we would like. Parenting is about being able to handle all the imperfections that come with a child, whether you have your child through an egg donor or not. When couples do have difficulty containing their anxiety during this process therapy can help.
As the ’screening’ psychotherapist, my process is analytical and involves assessing the donor for her maturity and ability to follow through with the process, as well as the presence of any major psycho-pathology (i.e. personality or mood disorders). An interview and psychological test are used to check for either of the two preceding elements.
- Brenda Fahn-Hardt M.S., MFT
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation agency, egg donation los angeles, egg donor, egg donor cycle, egg donor database, egg donor los angeles, egg donors, fertility clinic, how to choose an egg donor, ivf cycle, Oocyte Donation, Ova donation, Southern California egg donation agency, Southern California egg donor, Southern California egg donors
Posted in Advice From Our Colleagues | 1 Comment »
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