In the latest installment of our five-part series for Intended Parents, Brenda shares her advice for how/when to share with a child that they were conceived with the help of an egg donor.
Do We Tell Our Child They Were Conceived Through Egg Donation?
All intended parents are confronted with the decision as to whether they should tell their child (and others) that they used a third-party to conceive their child. Parents usually come to a decision based on their own comfort level and feelings regarding using an egg donor or surrogate. Most experts agree that honesty is the best policy when it comes to informing your child. A good website that goes into more detail about how to talk to your children developmentally appropriate ways is www.donor-conception-network.org. The website has booklets entitled, “Telling and Talking”. These booklets offer informative advice on how to talk to your child at every stage. Before telling your child you want to assess 1) The child’s emotional and intellectual capacity to process the information and 2) The extent to which your family, culture or religion may be able to accept a child born through egg donation.
The decision to tell your child may be an easy one or one fraught with decision. Most experts agree that telling your child is the easier path to take. It is easier because there is no room for misconceptions or false information, which inevitably leads to feelings of betrayal or mistrust. It is also recommended to start giving some information at a relatively early age, from three to five years old. Again, the website mentioned above goes into thorough detail advising how to talk to children of all ages regarding their conception.
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Tags: assisted reproduction, Beverly Hills Egg Donation, BHED, egg donation, egg donation agency, egg donor, egg donors, how to tell a child they were conceived with an egg donor, IVF, Southern California assisted reproduction
Firstly, I’m a newbie on your site and I love it! Thank you for the informative articles. There are many aspects to egg donation that I didn’t know about and it’s nice to be prepared if I choose to move forward. This particular article caught my eye as I do believe it would be easier to present the situation early on in my future child’s life. There are many aspects to this topic and if or when I face this situation, I will make sure that my child/family is ready. Thank you!